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From: Dennis Swing |
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To:
Undisclosed Recipient |
Date:
Thursday, July 01, 2004 9:38 AM |
| Subject:
Dictionary For Women's Personal Ads: |
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DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
- 40-ish.............................................49
- Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone
- Athletic......................................No tits
- Average looking..................................Ugly
- Beautiful...........................Pathological liar
- Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of pills
- Emotionally Secure......................On medication
- Feminist .........................................Fat
- Free spirit....................................Junkie
- Friendship first..........................Former slut
- Fun..........................................Annoying
- New-Age.................Body hair in the wrong places
- Old-fashioned..................................No BJs
- Open-minded.................................Desperate
- Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing
- Passionate...............................Sloppy drunk
- Professional....................................Bitch
- Voluptuous...................................Very Fat
- Large frame................................Hugely Fat
- Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
- Yes = No
- No = Yes
- Maybe = No
- We need = I want..
- I am sorry = you'll be sorry
- We need to talk = You're in trouble
- Sure, go ahead = You better not
- Do what you want = You will pay for this later
- I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
- You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think
about?
MEN'S ENGLISH:
- I am hungry = I am hungry
- I am sleepy = I am sleepy
- I am tired = I am tired
- Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
- I love you = Let's have sex now
- I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
- May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
- Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
- Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
- Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
- I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
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