|
"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
stretch out after you wear them awhile."
"Keep your hands on the car or I'll make your birth certificate
a worthless document."
"If you run you'll only go to jail tired."
"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you
didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired
from my gun."
"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that
means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
"Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't
think it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift
supervisor?"
"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to
do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
"The answer to this next question will determine whether you
are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, FAIR is a place where
you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in gum and
pigeon poop."
"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife
gets a toaster oven."
"In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC."
"Just how big were those two beers?"
"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas
but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend
of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right--we
don't--sign here."
| |