How To Tell If A Woman Is 50
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday.
She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way
home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper.
Before leaving, she says to the clerk, 'I hope you don't mind my asking,
but how old do you think I am?''About 32,' is the reply. ''Nope! I'm
exactly 50,' the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl
the very same question. The girl replies, 'I'd guess about 29.' The woman
replies with a big smile, 'Nope, I'm 50. 'Now she's feeling really good
about herself.
She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the
counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question. The
clerk responds, 'Oh, I'd say 30.' Again she proudly responds, 'I'm 50, but
thank you!'
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to
her the same question. He replies, 'Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going.
Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a
woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my
hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old
you are.'
They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the
best of her. She finally blurts out, 'What the hell, go ahead.'
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly
and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches
each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each
other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay, okay....How old
am I?'
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands,
and says, 'Madam, you are 50.'
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, 'That was incredible, how could
you tell?'
The old man says, 'Promise you won't get mad?'
'I promise I won't' she says.
'I was behind you at McDonalds.'
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