SEX AT 79

I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox,

Informing me that I can have sex at 79.

I'm so happy, because I live at number 71.

So it's not too far to walk home afterwards.

And it's the same side of the street.

I don't even have to cross the road!

ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGE

"I am not available right now,

But thank you for caring enough to call.

I am making some changes in my life.

Please leave a message after the beep.

If I do not return your call,

You are one of the changes."

Frustration is trying to find your glasses Without your glasses.

I was always taught to respect my elders,

But it keeps getting harder to find one.

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.