- I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
- Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it.
- Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
- When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
- Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
- You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
- The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.