Mushrooms
She wanted to serve her guests mushroom-smothered steak,
but she had no mushrooms and no time to buy them.
Her husband suggested, "Why don't you go pick some of
the mushrooms that are growing wild down by the stream?
"No, some wild mushrooms are poisonous."
"Well, I see varmints eating them and they're OK."
So she picked a bunch and washed, sliced and sautéed
them for her dinner.
Then she went out on the back porch and gave Spot, their dog,
a double handful.
Spot ate every bite.
All morning long, she watched the dog. The wild mushrooms
hadn't affected him after a few hours, so she decided to use
them. The meal was a great success.
After everyone had finished, her daughter came in and
whispered in her ear, "Mum, Spot is dead."
Trying to keep her head about her, she left the room as
quickly as possible, called her doctor and told him what had
happened. The doctor said, "That's bad, but I think we can
take care of it. I'll call for an ambulance and I'll be there
as quickly as I can. We'll give everyone enemas and we'll pump
out their stomachs and everything will be fine. Just keep
them calm."
Before long they started to hear the sirens as the ambulance
tore down the road. The paramedics and the doctor had their
suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump.
One by one, they took each person into the bathroom,
gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomachs.
After the last one was done the doctor came out and said,
"Everything will be okay now," and with that he left.
The hosts and the guests were all weak and knackered
sitting around the living room when the daughter came in and
said to her mum, "I can't believe that guy!"
"What guy?"
"You know, that one who ran over Spot, he never even
slowed down!!!!"
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