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From: "Ron J. Anfuso, CPA/ABV"
Date: Mon, 17 May 2004 16:42:34 -0700
Subject: Official Male Sensitivity Test
  1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
    1. Lovemaking.
    2. Screwing.
    3. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.
  2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
    1. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
    2. Your blood-test results.
    3. Five tequila slammers.
  3. You time your orgasm so that:
    1. Your partner climaxes first.
    2. You both climax simultaneously.
    3. You don't miss ESPN Sports Center.
  4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
    1. Healthy, creative love-play.
    2. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.
    3. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out about.
  5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
    1. The best part of the experience.
    2. The second best part of the experience.
    3. $100 extra.
  6. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
    1. Of no influence on your affectionate feelings for her.
    2. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
    3. A conservative estimate.
  7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
    1. A myth.
    2. An oxymoron.
    3. A moron.
  8. Foreplay is to sex as:
    1. An appetizer is to entree.
    2. Primer is to paint.
    3. A long line is to an amusement park ride.
  9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
    1. "I hope we can still be friends."
    2. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
    3. "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population, YOU."
  10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
    1. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
    2. Is uptight and a waste of time.
    3. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.


If you answered "A" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really ARE a man.

If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy. You're a little confused.

If you answered "C" more than 7 times, "YOU DA MAN!"

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