1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
   1. Lovemaking.
   2. Screwing.
   3. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
   1. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
   2. Your blood-test results.
   3. Five tequila slammers.
3. You time your orgasm so that:
   1. Your partner climaxes first.
   2. You both climax simultaneously.
   3. You don't miss ESPN Sports Center.
4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
   1. Healthy, creative love-play.
   2. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.
   3. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out about.
5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
   1. The best part of the experience.
   2. The second best part of the experience.
   3. $100 extra.
6. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
   1. Of no influence on your affectionate feelings for her.
   2. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
   3. A conservative estimate.
7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
   1. A myth.
   2. An oxymoron.
   3. A moron.
8. Foreplay is to sex as:
   1. An appetizer is to entree.
   2. Primer is to paint.
   3. A long line is to an amusement park ride.
9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
   1. "I hope we can still be friends."
   2. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
   3. "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population, YOU."
10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
    1. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
    2. Is uptight and a waste of time.
    3. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.

Evaluation:

If you answered "A" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really ARE a man.

If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy. You're a little confused.

If you answered "C" more than 7 times, "YOU DA MAN!"