At the root of every gray hair.....
At the root of every gray hair, there is a
dead brain cell. Someone had to remind me,
So I'm reminding you, too.
Some of the perks of reaching 60
- Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
- In a hostage situation, you are likely to be
- No one expects you to run -- Anywhere.
- People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask,
'Did I wake you?'
- People no longer view you as a
- There is nothing left to learn the hard
- Things you buy now won't wear out.
- You can now eat supper at 4 PM without
- You can live without sex but not your
- You get into heated arguments about pension
- You no longer think of speed limits as a
- You quit trying to hold your stomach in
no matter who walks into the room.
- You sing along with elevator music.
- Your eyes won't get much worse.
- Your investment in health insurance is
finally beginning to pay off.
- Your joints are better meteorologists
than the National Weather Service.
- Your secrets are safe with your friends
because they can't remember them either.
- Your supply of brain cells is finally down
to a more manageable size.
- You can't remember who sent you
- And you notice these are all in bigger
print for your convenience.