- Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
- A day without sunshine is like night.
- On the other hand, you have different fingers.
- I just got lost in thought. It wasn't familiar
territory.
- 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
- 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel
universe.
- Honk if you love peace and quiet.
- Remember, half the people you know are below
average.
- He who laughs last thinks slowest.
- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
- The early bird may get the worm, but the second
mouse gets the cheese.
- I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
- Support bacteria. They're the only culture some
people have.
- Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad
memory.
- Change is inevitable, except from vending
machines.
- Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great
trade!
- Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
- Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
- If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
- How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise
my hand...
- OK, so what's the speed of dark?
- How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
- If everything seems to be going well, you have
obviously overlooked something.
- When everything is coming your way, you're in the
wrong lane.
- Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays
off now.
- Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just
don't have film.
- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy
her friends?
- How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
- Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into
jet engines.
- What happens if you get scared half to death
twice?
- I used to have an open mind but my brains kept
falling out.
- I couldn't repair your brakes so I made your horn
louder.
- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
- Inside every older person is a younger person
wondering what happened.
- Just remember - if the world didn't suck we'd
all fall off.
- Light travels faster than sound. That is why some
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
|
|
|