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From: Shawn Gillespie
Date: Tue, 22 Feb 2005 10:46:54 -0800 (PST)
Subject: Lessons of life


In Africa, every morning a gazelle awakens knowing that it
must outrun the fastest lion if it wants to stay alive.

Every morning, a lion wakes up knowing it must run faster
than the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death.

Moral of the story:

It makes no difference whether you are a gazelle or a lion:
When the sun comes up, you had better be hauling ass.


A sales representative, an administration clerk, and the manager
are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it
and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke.

The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give
each of you just one."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk.
"I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a
care in the world."

Poof! She's gone.

In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep.
"I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal
masseuse, an endless supply of pina coladas, and the love of
my life."

Poof! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in the office
right after lunch."

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.


A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
A small rabbit saw the crow and asked him, "Can I also
sit like you and do nothing all day long?"

The crow answered: "Sure, why not?"

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow and

All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit
and ate it.

Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
very, very high up.


A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be
able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey,
but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?"
replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it
actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest
branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached
the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, there he was, proudly perched
at the top of the tree.

Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the
turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story:

Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

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