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From: "Ron J. Anfuso, CPA/ABV"
Date: Wed, 30 Jun 2004 20:24:12 -0700
Subject: Dysfunctional Side of Hallmark

Dysfunctional Side of Hallmark

  1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love, and now
    that you've come into my life...
    (Inside card) - I've changed my mind.

  2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life...
    (Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.

  3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....
    (Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin them for me.

  4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go...
    (Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably
    need it again.

  5. Someday I hope to marry...
    (Inside card) - Someone other than you.

  6. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age...
    (Inside card) - Almost lifelike!

  7. When we were together, you said you'd die for me...
    (Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your

  8. We've been friends for a very long time...
    (Inside card) - What do you say we stop?

  9. I'm so miserable without you...
    (Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.

  10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....
    (Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?

  11. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship
    and there was only one life jacket...
    (Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.

  12. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your
    (Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep..

  13. Looking back over the years we've been together,
    I can't help but wonder...
    (Inside card) - What was I thinking?

  14. Congratulations on your wedding day!
    (Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband.

  15. My tire was thumping
    I thought it was flat.
    When I looked at the tire ...
    (Inside card) - I noticed your cat.

  16. How could two people as beautiful as you
    (Inside card) - Have such an ugly baby?

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