Dear Diary:

MONDAY: What a wonderful cruise this is going to be! I felt
singularly honored this evening as the Captain asked me to dine
at his table.

TUESDAY: I spent the entire afternoon on the bridge with the
Captain. He is so charming.

WEDNESDAY: The Captain made several proposals to me
unbecoming an officer and a gentleman.

THURSDAY: Tonight the Captain threatened to sink the ship
if I do not give in to his indecent proposals!

FRIDAY: This afternoon I saved 1600 lives... twice.