The Following were actually taken from classified ads in newspapers:

• FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER, 8 YEARS OLD, HATEFUL LITTLE DOG
• FREE PUPPIES: ½ COCKER SPANIEL, ½ SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG
• FREE PUPPIES...PART GERMAN SHEPHERD - PART STUPID DOG
• GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 LBS. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE
• FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT...BEEN OUT A WHILE...BETTER BE REWARD.
• AMANA WASHER $100. OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED.
• SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
• 2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES: 1 5-FINGER, 1 3FINGER, PAIR: $15
• TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH IT OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L., AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800
• COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED. ALSO ONE GAY BULL FOR SALE
• 83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK -- $2000
• FREE 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BATH HOME
• FOR SALE: LEE MAJORS (6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN) - $50
• NORDIC TRACK $3000 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBIE
• BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING "WE HAUL AMERICAN PRODUCTS"
• HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT"
• HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB
• GEORGIA PEACHES CALIFORNIA GROWN 89 CENTS LB.
• NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED USED ONCE SLIGHTLY STAINED
• FREE: FARM KITTENS. READY TO EAT.
• AMERICAN FLAG 60 STARS - POLE INCLUDED> $100
• TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY $7 - $9 PER HOUR.
• OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB AND IT'S MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER.
• JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER. $300.
• LAWYER SAYS CLIENT IS NOT THAT GUILTY.
• ALZHEIMERS CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER.
• GAS CLOUD CLEARS OUT TACO BELL.
• WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE.
• FOR SALE BY OWNER - COMPLETE SET OF ENCYCCLOPEDIA BRITANNICA. 45 VOLUMES. EXCELLENT CONDITION. $1,000.00 OR BEST OFFER. NO LONGER NEEDED. GOT MARRIED LAST WEEKEND. WIFE KNOWS EVERYTHING.