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From: Thomas Burriss
Date: Tue, 21 Jan 2003 00:11:11 -0800
Subject: Abbott & Costello
 
Scene:COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT . .
 
ABBOTT Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO  Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTTMac?
COSTELLONo, the name's Lou.
ABBOTTYour computer?
COSTELLOI don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTTMac?
COSTELLOI told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTTWhat about Windows?
COSTELLOWhy? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTTDo you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLOI don't know What will I see when I look in the windows?
ABBOTTWallpaper.
COSTELLONever mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTTSoftware for Windows?
COSTELLONo. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
ABBOTTOffice.
COSTELLOYeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTTI just did.
COSTELLOYou just did what?
ABBOTTRecommend something.
COSTELLOYou recommended something?
ABBOTTYes.
COSTELLOFor my office?
ABBOTTYes.
COSTELLOOK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTTOffice.
COSTELLOYes, for my office!
ABBOTTI recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLOI already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTTWord.
COSTELLOWhat word?
ABBOTTWord in Office.
COSTELLOThe only word in office is office.
ABBOTTThe Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLOWhich word in office for windows?
ABBOTTThe Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLOI'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
ABBOTTYes, you want Real One.
COSTELLOMaybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!
ABBOTTReal One.
COSTELLOIf it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them?
ABBOTTOf course.
COSTELLOGreat! With what?
ABBOTTReal One.
COSTELLOOK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
ABBOTTYou click the blue "1."
COSTELLOI click the blue one what?
ABBOTTThe blue "1."
COSTELLOIs that different from the blue w?
ABBOTTThe blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
COSTELLOWhat word?
ABBOTTThe Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLOBut there's three words in "office for windows"!
ABBOTTNo, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
COSTELLOIt is?
ABBOTTYes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
COSTELLOAnd that word is real one?
ABBOTTReal One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.
COSTELLOSTOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTTMoney.
COSTELLOThat's right. What do you have?
ABBOTTMoney.
COSTELLOI need money to track my money?
ABBOTTIt comes bundled with your computer
COSTELLOWhat's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTTMoney.
COSTELLOMoney comes with my computer?
ABBOTTYes. No extra charge.
COSTELLOI get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTTOne copy.
COSTELLOIsn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTTMicrosoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLOThey can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTTWhy not? THEY OWN IT!
 
A FEW DAYS LATER . .
 
ABBOTTSuper Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLOHow do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTTClick on "START"..........
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