A police recruit was asked during the exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?”

He answered, “Call for backup.”

I have so many problems that if a new one comes along today, it will be at least two weeks before I can worry about it.

A cop pulls a guy over for weaving across two lanes of traffic. He walks up to the driver’s window and asks, "You drinkin'?”

The driver said, “Well that depends - You buyin’?”